09-06-2019, 10:37 PM
Conclusion isn't a 10 word sentence that introduces another reason on why you should be unbanned ya fuckin idiot. On top of that your introduction sounds like some Indian is about to teach me how to glitch my google chrome. When writing an introduction you must outline the points you are presenting (your 4 body paragraphs). Ill give you a point for introducing your conclusion or whatever the fuck you call that last sentence. Your first body paragraph was terrible, you found some fancy words off the discord TOS and constantly repeated them. I understand the technique of repetition but this is a poor use of it and instead of showing how 'sorry' you are it made me irritated. Now the second body paragraph was too long so I didn't read it but it looks like it was copied and pasted. Third body paragraph was a waste of my time as you basically grabbed some players virtual dick and sucked it and hoped that if you had their approval you would have the higherups approval on your unban. Last paragraph was just one long sentence with about 20 commas. Now the 'about the author' part. The start of that part was the first time in the entire essay where you told the truth. The second part, idk what you are on about but seems like an irrelevant inside joke that I wouldn't get. Overall I give your essay a 6/100 for the very poor effort and the fact that this was only a shitpost which wasn't 1 bit funny. Actually was a little funny because it took you like an hour to write.
Anthonyy#5473