Entitled parent and her daughter approach me and tries to get her daughter to fuck me

[✪ sp0oky_craigy]

Hey guys(M), just so you know, I'm 7'15(M)and I bench press 2 million pounds. I know this has literally nothing to do with the story but this is entitledparents so I have to humblebrag about how tall and buff I am.
So I was driving in my flying Ferrari(F2) to the mall. As soon as I got there, I saw EP (entiled parent 46M) and ED (entilted daughter) that looked about 16.
ED: Mom, that guys really hot can(24M) I date him.
They were both looking at me and EP aprroched me.
EP: Hey big boy, wanna date my daughter
Me: Sorry, I have a supermodel girlfriend(26M) with really really big tits and a 700 inch ass.
I expect this though because I have been asked out by over 1 billion women(F) and have turned down Playgirl and Bangbros over 300,000 times because my penis is 100 inches.
ED: MOOOOOOOM! MAKE HIM MY BF!!!!
Me: Sorry, I have to go to Hot Topic to buy an MCR shirt.
Em: MCR SUCKS!!!!!1111
I'm a black belt in every martial art ever so I kicked that bitch so hard she exploded and everyone nearby fell to the floor either laughing crying or cumming
Then I got arrested for murder but I escaped prison(65M) and I'm posting this in Belize. Bye!!!!!!

[dugglez]

The other day my boomer (60M) father walked in on me(20F) masturbating to gay hentai midget porn (25M) and (23M). He (60M) proceeded to yell and threaten to beat me so I checked his(60M) white male privilege by shitting in his(60M) coffee and killing his dog (7 F) which was a pit bull btw ( most minorities are killed by straight white pit bulls) so am I( 20F) the asshole?

[gada]

Hey, I’m a 12M from Tasmania (AU) who installed discord (program) and joined the DS (server) server. I saw, gracious (19F) and I asked “Ayo @gracious, degen check”.
Reddit, am I the asshole?

[quaddeh]

ayo @gracious degen check

[Casper]

+1 relatable